Soothing Emotions is the site that help you along on your healing journey. We do the research for you and break down the latest news and information with fresh content.

SOOTHING EMOTIONS WILL GUIDE YOU WITH RESEARCH, ARTICLES, AND INTERACTIVE TOOLS TO HELP YOU ON THE JOURNEY OF NAVIGATING YOUR MENTAL HEALTH.
Journaling For Peace Of Mind
Heal Your Emotions And Develop Optimism


The journaling processes you will discover and learn here are based on over 40 years of professional experience. These are highly effective tools for anger management, anxiety and depression, as well as developing a more positive attitude. 
Research by professionals such as Dr. James Pennebaker and Dr. Robert Emmons has shown that journaling improves your health and contributes to better sleep patterns.

Our approach deals with the problem, and adds a solution.

That is, the first emphasis is placed on writing about the things that bother you, and the second emphasis is on shifting your focus to thepositive aspects of your life. 





Write Your Story
Well, not your whole story necessarily, just the parts that are relevant to your problem and your goals. Dr. Pennebaker and others have found consistently that writing about traumatic events hasmultiple health benefits.

Remember, this is for your eyes only. You will get more benefit if you have no concerns about what others might think about what you're writing.

Let's look at the specific steps you need to take for this part of the journaling process:


  • A quiet, private place is helpful, but not absolutely necessary. Get as physically comfortable as you can.

  • Get a journal (blank book or note pad) and a pen. The benefits of writing by hand are far greater than typing on electronic devices. Writing by hand accesses more right brain processes, and therefore more emotion.

  • Write in detail about all of the things leading up to your painful or traumatic experiences, and then describe the event itself. Focus on your feelings, and try not to doubt or second guess your feelings or perceptions.
  • Keep writing about each memory, in different sessions over a period of time, until you feel that you have gotten it all out. You should feel some relief at this point.

  • The younger you were, the more deeply imbedded your trauma is. Therefore, be sure you write about all of the things that have upset you, bothered you, scared you or made you angry.
It might help you to imagine that you're telling your story tosomeone you trust completely, who will not judge you in any way. The more you do this, the more you will come to trust yourself, which is highly beneficial. 





Understand Your Negative Emotions
Just because they're negative emotions doesn't mean anger, fear and sorrow are bad or wrong.Those emotions are there for a reason.

Hopefully, you found some of the reasons in the first journaling step above. This next step will help you understand them even more.

First, I want you to understand some things about these emotions:

  • Pain and sorrow are basically your emotional "ouch" response. Nothing wrong with that. You experience pain and loss of any kind, and it hurts, so you feel sadness.

  • Fear is your emotional system saying, "Watch out." Your emotional awareness knows you've been hurt before, so it's on guard against things, people, situations that might hurt you again. It is a protective mechanism. It's only when fear just builds and builds over time that anxiety begins to develop.

  • Anger is the push-back response, the "fight" part of the "fight or flight" mechanism. It's not bad or wrong, it just seems that way when it motivates destructive or abusive actions. Be sure you understand healthy anger before doing these writing exercises.
So, you can see that although these emotions are considered "negative," they are totally natural, andserve an important function. 



The negative emotions are a good place to visit,
but you don't want to live there.
In other words, you want to understand, feel and release your pain, fear and anger as they come up, so they don't build and become bigger problems. Read about other benefits of journaling. 





Clear Your Negative Emotions
Now let's look at some ways to use journaling to access, process and release your sorrow, fear and anger as they come up.

This is another writing process. Remember, the more you do this, the easier it gets.

Here are the different types of processes you can use:

  1. Clearing pain and sorrow: It's important to honor the entire grieving process for this step. Write about who or what you lost, what you loved about it/them, and how your life will be different without them. Remember, this is just a step, so do this, but don't stop here.

  2. Processing fear: Write about what you're afraid of and why. Play out the entire "worse case scenario." This will activate your more reasonable, big-picture mind, which should help to calm your fears. The idea here is that anxiety comes from unconscious and unexpressed fear, and you're making your fear conscious and expressing it.

  3. Releasing anger: This is where you honor your anger by "letting it speak." You will find a full description of anger journaling here. It is simply a matter of full, all-out expressing of your anger on paper, without being nice or worrying about what you're saying. It is a kind of purging, which usually helps to calm the anger, and can actually be a good anger management tool.
I sometimes call this type of journaling "draining the swamp," because when you drain the swamp, the alligators have to leave. In this metaphor, the alligators are those old negative emotions you're ready to let go of.

Okay, now that we've cleared the path, let's start with the solutions! 





Create A New Default Mental Program
The natural default mental focus is toward the negative, for the simple purpose of making sure you're safe. In other words, your mind automatically looks for problems or potential problems, with the hopes of protecting you.

The problem with the problem focus is that it creates unnecessary stress and anxiety when it is notbalanced with a positive perspective.

So, here's a three part journaling process called Goodfinding, that will help you to shift your mental focus to what is good, right and working in your life.


Positive Mental Attitude
  • Gratitude: This is where you journal about all of the good things from your past, whether it was yesterday, or during your childhood. Take your time with this, and to trigger your memory, think of places you lived, friends you've had, and all of the happy times you've had. Focus on the good things, and write, "I'm grateful for..." each time.

  • Appreciation: Now you're focusing on all that is good, right and working in your present life. It may be things that you see right in front of you, your health, or your relationships with people in your current life. Remember, you're only focusing on the positive things.

  • Optimism: Then go on to focus on what you're looking forward to in your future. Write "I look forward to..." and finish that with the positive things in your future. There are two parts to this:
    • Focus on those things that you are sure will happen, like a relaxing weekend, a visit with a friend, a nice dinner and a movie, etc.

    • Next focus on the things that you want to happen. This is where you would write things like, "I look forward to feeling better" if you're having health issues, and "I look forward to reaching these financial goals" to improve your financial situation.

Now you have everything you need to clear your anxiety, depression or anger, and begin developing a new default mental focus on the good things in you and the world around you. 



​​Extrovert Personality Positive Affirmations
 
These are your extrovert personality affirmations. If you’ve always wanted to become more socially outgoing and naturally confident around others then these affirmations will really help you out.

Whether you are extroverted or introverted all starts deep within your mind, and in fact we all have the potential to train ourselves to be more extroverted. Using these affirmations on a regular basis will help you to do just that. They will work to build the confidence, energy, and positive thinking needed bring your naturally outgoing and extroverted personality to the surface.

It can be very helpful to say your favorite affirmations from this list right before you go into a social situation, this will really pump you up and energize you. You will be amazed at how great it will feel to really let your personality out, connect with others naturally, and truly enjoy a full social life.

Here are the affirmations! May you let your extroverted self shine through! 

Present Tense Affirmations
I am extroverted
I am naturally outgoing
I always show my true self
I am always open to meeting new people
I enjoy sharing myself with others
I am always looking to share my thoughts and ideas
I am energized by socializing with others
I make new friends easily
I enjoy socializing and making new friends
Others love to be around me because I am so open and friendly


Future Tense Affirmations
I will become an extrovert
I will let my personality shine
I am beginning to effortlessly connect with others
Every day I become more extroverted
I am turning into a natural extrovert
I will develop an extroverted personality
I will have a full and enjoyable social life
I am becoming more and more social
Others are beginning to notice how outgoing I am
I am becoming more social and friendly


Natural Affirmations
I am naturally extroverted
Being outgoing comes naturally to me
I enjoy socializing
I can go into extrovert mode whenever I need
I find it easy to share my thoughts and feelings
Being extroverted is normal for me
Being friendly and outgoing is my natural way of life
I love being around others
Making a connection with others is important
Being extroverted is the most natural thing in the world
Affirmations for Confidence
 
This is one of our most popular categories – positive affirmations for improving confidence.. but that’s not all, all areas surrounding confidence, self esteem and self belief.

Confidence, well, it’s what affirmations were made for! In all of the “textbooks” examples are given about confidence: “I am a naturally confident person”, “I become more and more confident every day”, and it is true,affirmations work AMAZINGLY WELL for confidence.

If you haven’t tried them then you really need to – browse our categories below, pick your favourite and then give them a go – it only takes one minute; say them out loud, in a CONFIDENT VOICE.. and you will be amazed at how good you feel!

How have you used affirmations to help yourself? Do you have some of your own favourites we haven’t got listed? If you do then we would love to hear from you. Our free positive affirmations are mostly supplied by reader submissions, so please send us your favourite affirmations.

The Crying Game? When crying is good for you, and when it isn’t.




Raj Persaud and Peter Bruggen




Andy Murray will be remembered for crying after his Wimbledon Final just as much for his gutsy tennis. He said, through his tears, he was getting closer to eventual victory – but is his emotional reaction revealing the real truth of the matter? Does this dramatic weeping predict future performance in similar high stress situations?




The latest psychological research on whether crying is useful for us suggests that the media consensus on Murray’s tears being fine (see how the nation warmed to him) may be missing an important point.




In a study published in 2008 entitled ‘When is crying cathartic? An international study’, psychologists Lauren Bylsma, Ad Vingerhoets and Jonathan Rottenberg from the University of South Florida and Tilburg University, in the Netherlands, found that crying is not necessarily always so good for us.




When asked to recall their last episode of weeping, most reported feeling better afterwards, so it seems at first glance, crying must be a good thing – the release of tension it’s associated with means we generally feel psychologically better after crying. This fits with another curious finding from previous research, which is that the more severely clinically depressed often seem, paradoxically, less able to cry.




But analysing deeper the latest data should lead us to wonder if crying is always beneficial, and therefore whether Murray’s outburst is in fact good for him in the longer term.




Bylsma, Vingerhoets and Rottenberg point out that studies exposing subjects to sad movies found mostly a negative effect of shedding tears. Those who cried while watching a sad film tended to be more depressed afterwards, compared to those who did not cry. When we get upset our physiology is profoundly affected, yet mixed findings means the jury is still out on whether heart rate and blood pressure recover more rapidly after a crying spell, which is surprising, if crying was that good for you.




Perhaps the rather cold indifferent atmosphere of a laboratory means crying doesn’t get a chance to perform as powerfully as it does in real life. After all, nothing binds us together or makes others more sympathetic and helpful to us than the natural human response to tears. Criticism of Murray’s performance during the match itself has been almost completely deflected by his crying, which demonstrates the true clout of tears. What other force on the planet could produce such a total media somersault in coverage of this character, viewed before as truculent and aloof, by the unforgiving press?




To get more properly to the bottom of crying, one of the largest studies on sobbing to date, was published in 2011 by Bylsma and Rottenberg with colleagues, who asked 97 female students, average age 20, to keep a crying and mood diary for approximately two months.




The study, entitled, ‘When and for whom does crying improve mood? A daily diary study of 1004 crying episodes’ found that in two months, the average young woman cries 10 times. Previous research has found the equivalent number for men is around two times over the same period.




The study was published in the ‘Journal of Research in Personality’ and reports the average duration of crying of 8 min, and they were most often in the living room (40.1%) or bedroom (28.6%). Most were either alone (37.9%) or with one other person (39.8%). The most common reasons for crying were conflict (16.3%), loss (13.5%) or witnessing the suffering of others (13.1%).




A key finding of the study with particular relevance to any elite athlete for whom emotional control is going to be vital in predicting future success, is that those who are more prone to cry also suffer more mood variability. The study found emotionally laden tears were followed by a period of worsened mood, with no apparent benefit.




In other words, crying was not seen by these researchers as generally good for us.




However, 30 percent of crying episodes, a distinct minority, was associated with mood improvement and these seem to be when weeping occurred with greater intensity (but not duration). Perhaps more intense crying may be more likely to attract social support – an echo of the Andy Murray incident?




The authors conclude that, generally, crying is not good for us, except for those specific moments when others around us, because they are close to us, are going to be positively supportive and responsive to our tears. If we experience a resolution to the difficult circumstances that caused the crying episode, perhaps because of the new sympathy of others, or we achieve a new more positive understanding of the predicament through our tears, then in these special circumstances, crying is good for us. Expressing grief does sometimes lead us to a different and better understanding of ourselves.




Crying appears to be particularly unhelpful if we cry in the presence of others who’ll be unsympathetic. But in Murray’s case it appears to have rallied the nation, which might be useful in future on-court battles.




We cry when we are not able to solve a serious problem we’re confronted with. Tears represent an energy that would be better used in acting on a solution and crying appears particularly unhelpful where we have little control over the upsetting incident, such as witnessing suffering or conflict.




Andy may have solved one crisis by crying – he has now galvanised a nation to support him.




But crying would not have helped with the other emergencies he so bravely faced on the tennis court. The tears might be a sign he was at a complete loss, and this could be worrying for the future, if he doesn’t get the right support to help him through this.




Because no matter how much support he has from those close to him and the entire country, tennis remains the loneliest game. Andre Agassi once said; ‘Only boxers can understand the loneliness of tennis players – and yet boxers have their corner men and managers… The rules forbid a tennis player from even talking to… (the) coach while on the court’.




As some suggest, in tennis, as in life, the only person we ever really lose against, is ourselves.





DepressionMost people feel anxious or depressed at times. Losing a loved one, getting fired from a job, going through a divorce, and other difficult situations can lead a person to feel sad, lonely, scared, nervous, or anxious. These feelings are normal reactions to life's stressors.

But some people experience these feelings daily or nearly daily for no apparent reason, making it difficult to carry on with normal, everyday functioning. These people may have an anxiety disorder, depression, or both.

It is not uncommon for someone with an anxiety disorder to also suffer from depression or vice versa. Nearly one-half of those diagnosed with depression are also diagnosed with an anxiety disorder. The good news is that these disorders are both treatable, separately and together.

Read on to find out more about the co-occurrence of anxiety and depression and how they can be treated.

DepressionDepression is a condition in which a person feels discouraged, sad, hopeless, unmotivated, or disinterested in life in general. When these feelings last for a short period of time, it may be a case of "the blues."

But when such feelings last for more than two weeks and when the feelings interfere with daily activities such as taking care of family, spending time with friends, or going to work or school, it's likely a major depressive episode.

Major depression is a treatable illness that affects the way a person thinks, feels, behaves, and functions. At any point in time, 3 to 5 percent of people suffer from major depression; the lifetime risk is about 17 percent.

Screen yourself or a loved one for depression.

Types of DepressionThree main types of depressive disorders—major depression, persistent depressive disorder, and bipolar disorder—can occur with any of the anxiety disorders.

Major depression involves at least five of these symptoms for a two-week period. Such an episode is disabling and will interfere with the ability to work, study, eat, and sleep. Major depressive episodes may occur once or twice in a lifetime, or they may re-occur frequently. They may also take place spontaneously, during or after the death of a loved one, a romantic breakup, a medical illness, or other life event.

Some people with major depression may feel that life is not worth living and some will attempt to end their lives.

Persistent depressive disorder, or PDD, (formerly called dysthymia) is a form of depression that usually continues for at least two years. Although it is less severe than major depression, It involves the same symptoms as major depression, mainly low energy, poor appetite or overeating, and insomnia or oversleeping. It can manifest as stress, irritability, and mild anhedonia, which is the inability to derive pleasure from most activities.

People with PDD might be thought of as always seeing the glass as half empty.

Bipolar disorder, once called manic-depression, is characterized by a mood cycle that shifts from severe highs (mania) or mild highs (hypomania) to severe lows (depression).

During the manic phase, a person may experience abnormal or excessive elation, irritability, a decreased need for sleep, grandiose notions, increased talking, racing thoughts, increased sexual desire, markedly increased energy, poor judgment, and inappropriate social behavior.

During the depressive phase, a person experiences the same symptoms as would a sufferer of major depression. Mood swings from manic to depressive are often gradual, although occasionally they can occur abruptly. Learn more about bipolar disorder.

Depression and Anxiety Disorders: Not the SameDepression and anxiety disorders are different, but people with depression often experience symptoms similar to those of an anxiety disorder, such as nervousness, irritability, and problems sleeping and concentrating. But each disorder has its own causes and its own emotional and behavioral symptoms.

Many people who develop depression have a history of an anxiety disorder earlier in life. There is no evidence one disorder causes the other, but there is clear evidence that many people suffer from both disorders.

Read more information about depression from the National Institute of Mental Health.


​
What Every People Pleaser Needs to Realize About ThemselvesPosted: 09/14/2015 8:07 am EDT Updated: 09/14/2015 10:59 am EDT





A few weeks ago I was going through a bit of a rough patch. I was sad and upset over some recent events that had taken place in my personal life. To make matters worse, I also had finals due that same week so I easily felt overwhelmed and stressed by everything thrown at me at once.

I'm currently taking a group process course, where we basically practice and learn about the group therapy dynamic. Each class begins with an hour of the therapy session or "processing" and then the second half is focused on theory and discussion.

Since I was going through this rough patch, I brought it up to the group. I shared my story and explained my frustrations.

Hours and days after class when I was reflecting upon that sharing I finally asked myself: Who was I sharing this for? Me or them?

Naturally, when it comes to any sort of therapy one would assume that the person is sharing their story for their own healing. They want to experience some sort to relief. This is why many people cry when they are sharing a painful event. It helps them to release all those painful emotions so they can let go and move forward.

Well, the thing is... I didn't cry.

In fact, when I began to cry I stopped cause my throat started closing up, got re-centered, and began talking again. My inner critic came up and said "No, you can't cry here because if you cry then you can't talk! You NEED to be able to talk so that you can explain your story to everyone."

I did the exact thing that so many of us people pleasers do:

In our own moments of suffering, we focus on the well-being of other people rather than ourselves.

How crazy is that?! I am the one that was going through all these sad emotions and what do I do? I shift my focus to other people's feelings and act accordingly to what I sense from them!

It's such a people pleaser thing to do!

So what can us people pleasers do about this, you ask? Well, there are a few things...

1. Be aware.

Awareness is the single most important step and the more you challenge yourself to be aware of it the better. We can mentally understand our own dynamic, but once we start to pay close attention to that dynamic as its unfolding it can light-up our eyes in a way nothing else can.

So next time you are associating with a group of people focus on things like: Am I focusing more on this other person or me? What am I feeling right now?

*Hint: If you don't know what you are feeling in that moment, then you're more than likely focused on the people around you instead.

2. Focus on the "here."

There was an activity that I did a few weeks ago at a relationship workshop where we were asked to sit with a person and focus on "here" (where you yourself are right now), "near" (the other person), and far (the other people, things, and places around you). More than likely, one is going to be much more difficult than the others. If you're a people pleaser, chances are the "here" might be the most difficult.

So next time you are associating with someone, in a group, or simply just around people on the street try to focus on where you are. Also try to notice what situations make it more difficult to focus on the "here" than others.

3. Focus on your body.

Even if you can't quite get the first two, don't fret because this one is the easiest way to help shift your focus back on you and your needs! The trick? Focus on your body.

For many of us, this can be very difficult in the beginning because we tend to live so much in our heads. We sit in front of a computer or spreadsheet all day and most of us rarely ever sit back and ask, "How does my body feel?"

Well, the great thing about focusing on the body is that not only does it tell us how the body feels health-wise but it also helps us to be more aware of our emotions. We can focus more on ourselves rather than other people.

So rather than do a meditation to help calm yourself down, a much more grounded approach could be to simply focus on how you feel in the body. Is there tension? Do you feel jittery? Do you feel open? What emotions do you feel are correlated to these body sensations?

If you are never quite sure what you are feeling emotionally, the body can be a gateway to discover exactly what emotions are lingering around.




Click to Tweet: Throughout your day, take moments to stop and check in with yourself so that you can better take care of YOU! via @jenilyn8705

Take action now!

Take a moment right now and focus on your body. How do you feel? Is there any tension or pain? What emotions are associated with that?

Then in the next few days, focus on how you feel when other people are around. Take moments to ask yourself: How am I feeling in this moment? What do I need?

Share your own experiences and what you are planning to work on below!

Jennifer is a self and relationship coach and the founder ofJenniferTwardowski.com. Her mission is to help women create loving relationships with both others and themselves. Click here for her Free Self and Relationship Healing Meditation and weekly blog updates. To learn about how you can work with her, click here.

Autumn Anxiety Is Real, And TreatableMany of my friends who battle anxiety say the first few weeks of autumn are especially difficult for them.Everyday Health
By Therese Borchard

It happens every year. As I watch the first golden leaves fall from the oak tree outside our house and listen to the sound of the cicadas ushering in autumn, my anxiety spikes. I used to think I was relapsing into depression, but having been through this year after year (and documenting it in my mood journal), I now know I’m just going through my annual bout of autumn anxiety: a nervous feeling in my gut that begins the last week of August and continues through the first weeks of September.

I’m hardly alone. Many of my friends who battle anxiety — and even those that don’t have a mood disorder — say the first few weeks of autumn are especially difficult for them. Ginny Scully, a therapist in Wales, sees so many clients with feelings of anticipation and nervousness during the last week of August through the first weeks of September that she coined the term “autumn anxiety.” Highly sensitive persons (HSPs), as defined by Elaine Aron, PhD, in The Highly Sensitive Person, are especially prone to anxiety during the fall because any kind of shift can throw off their fragile neurological systems — and the seasonal changes of autumn and anxiety are most dramatic. Autumn is full of new things: new schedules, new jobs, new schools, new assignments. It’s no wonder why some of us experience heart palpitations trying to process it all. Here are a few techniques I’m using this year to keep my anxiety in check during the season. May yours be as calm as possible, too!

1. Reign In Your Inner MarshaRemember that Brady Bunch episode where Marsha signs up for every activity possible, from scuba diving to cheerleading? Every autumn, many of us fight an inner Marsha who wants to volunteer our time to anyone who asks — or doesn’t. Something about the season screams: “Sign up! Sign up! This is your LAST chance to do something worthwhile with your life!” Next thing we know, we’re the assistant coach for two rec leagues, spearheading fundraisers across town, and running ourselves ragged. I know my temptation in this regard. Last September, I designed seven programs I wanted to implement as part of a new foundation I was forming to raise awareness for treatment-resistant depression. I caught “fall fever” in a bad way and forget about my limitations as a person who struggles with chronic illness herself. This year, I’m doing the opposite: I’m eliminating every possible stressor or responsibility from my calendar that I can. As I recently wrote in another post, I’ve embraced my second-half self and am not feeling the need to prove myself like I have in the past with stuff that ultimately isn’t that important.

2. Choose a Stress-less ChallengeDon’t get me wrong, trying new things IS good for your brain. A little novelty builds new synapses in our brains and makes us smarter and happier, apparently. But Marsha-prone people like me need to be reminded that you can choose to challenge your brain with activities that decrease stress versus increase stress. Instead of committing to write another article a week for a new website, or collaborate on a book with someone, or organize some hectic fundraiser this season, I’ve decided to use my extra time to go do a Bikram (hot) yoga 30-day challenge and to learn how to cook meals full of nutrients that will help my depression and anxiety. Just a few years ago, I didn’t even know how to boil water, so this should be plenty challenging — but not in a stressful way.

3. Be Mindful of Allergies Autumn, much like spring, is filled with allergies for many people, which can definitely contribute to anxiety and depression. Just knowing this, I think, can help calm you down, because you can tell your spouse there is a biological explanation for your freak-outs. Your immune system is under attack, and cytokines — proteins that signal inflammation to our cells — are pumped into our blood stream. According to a 2009 study in the Journal of Affective Disorders, the process when a person is fighting off an infection looks the same as when he or she is depressed or manic. Studies have shown that changes in allergy symptoms during low- and high-pollen seasons have corresponded to increases in depression and anxiety scores. Some experts say this could even explain the spike in suicides during spring every year.

4. Remember to BreatheThis is the easiest technique, and the one I use the most in September: right before “back to school night,” at any kind of orientation (the word “orientation” even provokes anxiety), and on my way to my kids’ sports events (when did everything get so competitive?). I’m usually driving, so all I do is inhale to a count of five, hold my breath for five, exhale to a count of five, and hold my breath for five. Practicing yoga on a more regular basis has definitely made me more conscious of my breathing and how often I’m panting from my chest — using rapid, shallow breaths — which primes my sympathetic nervous system to send a blast communication to my organs, including my brain, that all is not right and we should prepare for danger. When I can shift to my diaphragm with some long, deep breaths, I engage the parasympathetic nervous system to send the next message: “never mind.” Other techniques to calm down are found in my post 10 Instant Ways to Calm Down.

5. Load Up on Vitamin D and MagnesiumEarly September is a good time to load up on vitamin D, as your exposure to sunlight gradually diminishes after June 21 — already two and half months ago! “Every tissue in the body has vitamin D receptors, including the brain, heart, muscles, and immune system, which means vitamin D is needed at every level for the body to function,” writes James M. Greenblatt, MD, an integrative psychiatrist, in his Psychology Today blog. Many studies link vitamin D deficiencies to depression and anxiety, so that’s always the first vitamin (it’s actually a hormone) I restock when I get panicky.

Magnesium is also a great calming mineral that sustains and nurtures the central nervous system, helping to reduce anxiety, panic, and nervousness. A study published inNeuropharmacology found that magnesium deficiency induces anxiety and interferes with the functions of the hypothalamic-pituitary-adrenal axis (HPA axis), which is critical to mood and stress regulation. Dark, leafy greens like spinach, kale, and chard are excellent sources of magnesium. I drink a kale and pineapple smoothie in the morning. Nuts and seeds are also high in magnesium — especially sesame seeds, Brazil nuts, almonds, and cashews — as well as beans and lentils. And dark chocolate has a ton of magnesium, but watch out for the sugar.

Autumn Anxiety Is Real, And Treatable was originally published on Everyday Health.


5 Ways to Make Your Life More Positive
As we grow, we naturally become more in tune with the things and people that facilitate a safe, comfortable and empowered environment. Our experiences and interactions with people and situations give us the ability to further surround ourselves with positive influences and to also avoid potentially harmful or damaging circumstances. While every day is a continuous learning opportunity for how I live my own life in a more positive manner, there are a few things I'm certain facilitate a positive attitude and outlook.

1. Don't avoid or ignore negativity. In order to conquer and overcome, it must be acknowledged. This can include people in your life who may be bringing you down, a hostile workplace environment or even a personal stressor that you haven't conquered quite yet. Think about the moments in your day that bring you anxiety or that you don't look forward to. How can you turn that experience into something positive that fulfills you? Sometimes, these are small and easy to implement changes. Other times, they are more serious and drastic changes that need to take place. Either way, ignoring it will not move you in the direction of positivity. Remember, you are in control of your environment and if these negative situations keep making an appearance, it's up to you to handle them.

2. Take care of yourself and your needs. In order to feel compelled to live a powerful and meaningful life, you must love you. It's crucial to take care of not only your physical health, but your mental health as well. It's a continuous circle: take care of your thoughts and your emotional well being, and it will be reflected in your day-to-day. Take care of your actions and how you live each day, and this will be reflected in your thoughts and emotional state of mind. Love yourself fully in order to love others fully.

3. Mend what's broken or get rid of it. Determining what is worth your time and effort and what is not can be challenging. This is especially true when it comes to people we have history with or love dearly. Only you are responsible for yourself and only you are in control of your happiness. If situations are toxic and beyond repair, it's time to let go. Are there relationships or friendships that remain damaged but you know are worth the time? Fix them and find peace. Do what you can to find love in situations where it may have be absent in the past.

4. Give back. This one is so important to me and personally close to my heart. Giving our time, energy, love, mentorship and sometimes money is what life is about. Everything we put out into the world comes back to us. Imagine if everyone took some time out of each week to give back to people without expecting anything in return. What a whirlwind of positive energy we would create! There are countless ways to give back and unfortunately, so many people and animals who are in dire need. My mom taught me a quote she learned in Mexico that stuck with me forever, "donde comen uno, comen dos." Translation: where one can eat, two can eat. It moves me every time I say it out loud. At the end of the day, no matter what you have (or don't have) you are likely in a position to give something small to someone else who needs it. Don't hesitate. Just give back.

5. Things that make us smile, laugh and feel good are just awesome. This one is pretty simple...Just do MORE of it. Do more of what makes you happy! Sounds like common sense doesn't it? I truly believe that in the super fast paced world we live in, happiness may not come as easily as we wish. In order to navigate through work and responsibilities that seem monotonous, we have to actively pursue and engage in beautiful acts of love and kindness. So get to it!

Living a positive life is a must. Focus on the times in your life where you felt most worry-free and motivated. Think about where you were with your loved ones, where you were in your career, your health and how you were making an impact in the lives of other people. Achieving a positive lifestyle is an ongoing effort that should always fall high on your list of priorities. I encourage you to take a step towards more love, more happiness and more togetherness.

Join Daffnee at the motherland (website) and on Instagram @Daffnee.
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